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3 years is a decent period of time – things happen, change, people come and go, your home takes different shapes, you grow – raise and fall, get or lose a pet and so many more…
3 is a magical number in many cultures, religions, believes. 3 has something special, whether we choose to see or not see it.
In my past 3 years, the entire world has changed, several times. But, this is not the story about everything and everyone. This is a story of 3 years of shape-shifting between friendship and lovership.
A dear person, one I truly believe is of a good heart appeared some 3 years ago “by accident”. Long hours of writing, exchanging thoughts, believes and hopes became as important as the air. Oh, does it feel good to feel this rush before opening an inspiring and dear message!
After a while, the souls and bodies met. Crazy chemistry overruled it all. A true universal bang!
Well, craziness created the first shift – and destroyed it powerfully after a while. Distance love is hard. Wort a try, but damn hard. When young and an undeveloped person(s).
Anyhow, as life jumps in unexpected ways, though we might think it is the end (oh my, so many this-is-the-end-never-again – ain’t that funny?), you find new friendships and loves and they do become important as they develop and last..
In this shape-shifting story, after a century (at least, that is how it felt in period of blossoming love, career and friendship ), another heart beat boosting message arrives. Long cleaned of any emotions, was surprised to smile when reading “romantic issues aside, I miss a friend in you”. Life was good. A friend was back. Don’t we all feel somewhat at ease when a dear souls returns?
I can’t help smiling when thinking back, trying to figure out at what point that tranquility was smashed by that crazy chemistry again 😀 And another shape-shifting stage begun.
It was good – I regret nothing! The older I am, the less I regret in general. Taking own life over, taking responsibilities and truly cherishing happy moments.
So, am I happy now? As the 3rd circle is about to either begin or destroy it all? I guess I am. Calm, somewhat sad over the so well known silence.
Have you ever done some absolutely against-your-nature things to provoke a reaction of your partner/friend/basically whomever? I just did it again the other day – fishing for a compliment or “leave me alone”, any reaction at all! 😀 Watching myself from above, pointing a finger: Heya there, this ain’t you, aware of it? Stop now! 😀
(Don’t tell me you don’t talk to yourself sometimes, know you do)
So, what do you do when the stubborn heart refuses to see the truth? When it only sticks to happy memories (and damn, those were good ones!)? What when the brain leans back saying: the answer is right there, but I’ll let you pretend not to know it for a while longer, silly heart?
Letting go ain’t easy: did I try it all? Will I make a mistake? Will I lose potential happiness? Will I regret it? Blame myself? and so many more of those…
Apply it to romance, work, moving away, you name it!
Though still letting the heart imagine, and hope for the romantic scene – passionate kiss in the rain, on-the-knees proposal, anything Hollywood style basically…. it seems, it is time to let go. Another shape-shifting phase waves ahead, sends a wink, says: oh, it may be amazing! And then.. it may hurt.
Paint is the least worry. We all wish to grow, love and be loved, be happy, fulfill our hearts with joy (and some pockets with money, which is also just fine) – when do you know the time is right to let go?
Does a piece of ourselves need to die every time we do so? Determined to prove the opposite, I salute you with cheerful hope, still somewhat sad-ish, but soon fully blossoming smile! 🙂
Be happy, grow, dare, love!
In the end, the heart will again choose to get high on great memories, and those kind only :-*